Blaze of gold

October 8th, 2008 by Celeste

My heart is ripped open these days. I am all too aware of my own mortality, of my limits – that which I can not do and those things I will never do. My life is only one. It is not unlimited.

I am aware of the color of the leaves turning this month. Their first blushes of gold and red, how one branch will start before the others, one tree… Continue reading


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A lucky man

July 17th, 2008 by Celeste

Love is a mystery.

I don’t know how he does it, but he just keeps loving me. And it is this, in the end, that opens my door again.

I am eager to touch him, his face, his shoulders, the piercing in his nipple. He pulls off his shirt to give me access. He is a generous man.

I am not ready for him to touch me back. Not yet. I stay clothed… Continue reading


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Healing men, and men who heal

July 7th, 2008 by Celeste

A friend calls today. She has a friend, a man, who thinks he might be interested in doing this work. That is, in working. However, he has never received the work.

Oops! That will never fly!

Another colleague a few weeks ago, also a man, told me that he feels his healing gift is with women.

That was in response to my question to him - You don’t work on men? No, he… Continue reading


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The Power of Celibacy

June 29th, 2008 by Celeste

It’s a big difference – celibacy and not gettin’ any.

Last week I left you hanging on a lonesome note. A few days later, I got myself over to a colleagues studio for my turn on the massage table. We sat and talked a bit, just to catch up on what I was feeling. Oh, I remember now, what it feels like to have loving acceptance, witnessing, caring – that’s just… Continue reading


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Hunting for human touch

June 3rd, 2008 by Celeste

I tell a woman today that I’m an intimacy coach. She’s a retired speech pathologist, worked in public schools for many years. She asks about my work and I say a little about touch, that I teach people how to touch each other with more awareness and skill, how to make their love lives safer and juicier.

Wow – wish you were around when I was younger! – you’d be… Continue reading


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Book store surrender

May 8th, 2008 by Celeste

I stopped by a book store yesterday, and wandered perilously close to the sex section. It was huge – huge! Actually it probably wasn’t all that big, compared to say, the computer section. Heck, it might not even have been as big as the gardening section, but I don’t know, because that’s as far as I got. I mean, how can you walk right by the sex section?

Maybe it was… Continue reading


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The poet is back

April 10th, 2008 by Celeste

The poet is back. Haven’t seen him for awhile. He got here 2 hours early, having mistaken the time, but fortunately I was here and it worked. I was not ready though, and put him to work vacuuming. Told him I’d like to see him in a French maid’s outfit, but he said he would need a couple more years of me before he was ready for that. But he… Continue reading


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Transience

April 6th, 2008 by Celeste

The nights are the hardest. Sounds like a country western song.

Watching the sun set in a fabulous sky is my luxury – 5th floor condo facing west over city, water and mountains. A very mundane view of the city, but the sky is the star of this show.

Tonight I think of all the people for whom this sunset will be the last. Someday, some sunset will be my last. Makes… Continue reading


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Back to the hayloft

February 3rd, 2008 by Celeste

Ok . . . so I want to say some more about that magical touch in the hay barn (last entry). The power is not in the fantasy. The power is in the attention. You can have the most wonderful, sensual, phenomenal touch, but if your mind is on the laundry list, well, what’s the point?

Or, you can have the most fabulous touch, and if you have not given yourself… Continue reading


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The burden of choice

December 30th, 2007 by Celeste

This week feels far removed from my usual life. Though certainly not removed from life itself – an ironic statement for tending to the needs of the living after a loved one has died.

It’s the heart of winter – solstice, the longest night of the year. A few friends gather around a table for sushi and sake. The sushi I help roll, the sake is too much for me… Continue reading


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