Breaking open

October 16th, 2008 by Celeste

Peaches in the summer,
Apples in the fall,
If I can’t have you all the time
Then I’ll have none at all.

Gillian Welch, folk singer. Though the song is probably older – soldier’s joy (which was morphine, in the civil war)

I notice that I have just finished the last of the fresh peaches I bought when crossing the mountains a couple of weeks ago. The trees continue to turn.

Yesterday, on my way through… Continue reading


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The Power of Celibacy

June 29th, 2008 by Celeste

It’s a big difference – celibacy and not gettin’ any.

Last week I left you hanging on a lonesome note. A few days later, I got myself over to a colleagues studio for my turn on the massage table. We sat and talked a bit, just to catch up on what I was feeling. Oh, I remember now, what it feels like to have loving acceptance, witnessing, caring – that’s just… Continue reading


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Hunting for human touch

June 3rd, 2008 by Celeste

I tell a woman today that I’m an intimacy coach. She’s a retired speech pathologist, worked in public schools for many years. She asks about my work and I say a little about touch, that I teach people how to touch each other with more awareness and skill, how to make their love lives safer and juicier.

Wow – wish you were around when I was younger! – you’d be… Continue reading


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Desert Rain

May 28th, 2008 by Celeste

I’m in country-music country this week, and here is one of the verses – he’s talking about his woman, and her changes of mood –

Just like springtime in Alberta
Sunny days, endless skies of blue
Then without a warning
A winter storm comes ragin’ through

That’s me today. The storm has come rolling through and I am in tears all day.

Will someone please remind me why this work is important? What it has to… Continue reading


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Book store surrender

May 8th, 2008 by Celeste

I stopped by a book store yesterday, and wandered perilously close to the sex section. It was huge – huge! Actually it probably wasn’t all that big, compared to say, the computer section. Heck, it might not even have been as big as the gardening section, but I don’t know, because that’s as far as I got. I mean, how can you walk right by the sex section?

Maybe it was… Continue reading


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Round and full

April 22nd, 2008 by Celeste

Today, his hands on my breasts and his cock between them, I remembered how, as a girl of 10, flat as an ironing board, I had yearned for breasts. Nice round ones, though I would have been happy for any, really. I imagined them, pretended them. Once, on the way to the pool, shirt and shorts over swimsuit, I secretly rolled the top of my suit down so that it… Continue reading


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Transience

April 6th, 2008 by Celeste

The nights are the hardest. Sounds like a country western song.

Watching the sun set in a fabulous sky is my luxury – 5th floor condo facing west over city, water and mountains. A very mundane view of the city, but the sky is the star of this show.

Tonight I think of all the people for whom this sunset will be the last. Someday, some sunset will be my last. Makes… Continue reading


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Sunday morning miracles

March 1st, 2008 by Celeste

Something is happening to my heart.Today, visiting my father’s church, I noticed that I actually wanted to be there with him. I noticed that instead of the old people (and his church is 95% old people) being, well – let’s see. It’s not that they have ever felt a bother, or not worth my attention, or even boring. It’s just that the only reason I would ever go, do ever… Continue reading


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If I had one

January 17th, 2008 by Celeste

I’ve been thinking lately about what it would be like to have cock. It’s hard to imagine that I would do anything else but play with it all day. Perhaps more accurate would be to say that when I imagine my clit being a few inches long – well, of course I want to reach out and hold it – duh!

But more than that, with a clit, you can of… Continue reading


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The burden of choice

December 30th, 2007 by Celeste

This week feels far removed from my usual life. Though certainly not removed from life itself – an ironic statement for tending to the needs of the living after a loved one has died.

It’s the heart of winter – solstice, the longest night of the year. A few friends gather around a table for sushi and sake. The sushi I help roll, the sake is too much for me… Continue reading


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