Interview #3 - acceptance, training, legality
(See Feb. 7 and Dec. 19)
J__ <@> wrote:
Before I pose the last few questions, just in answer to your point about STI’s in the sex work population, yes, absolutely, the notion that sex workers are high risk is unsupported. The only exceptions tend to be where, mainly in street work populations, drugs are administered intravenously, and of course where drugs are injected there is the possibility of transmission via that route. Also, where there has been found to be a slightly higher prevalence it has been the result of unprotected sex with boyfriends/partners rather than clients with whom condom use is still very high. It may be of little interest and I don’t suppose you would have to me to read it – busy as I know you are, but I am attaching paper I wrote a few years ago which raises these issues and if nothing else provides the references that you might find useful.
Just returning to the final questions that I wanted to pose for my current research, I wanted to ask whether, in your opinion, you feel that the number of sex workers is increasing? And if so, why do you think that is? Or are we just more open about it? Either way, is the idea of sex work becoming more acceptable – even fashionable? Can sex work be successfully reframed in terms of a more holistic sexual health model?
I answered:
I don’t know about the numbers as a whole. Certainly as I have become familiar with – and part of – sex work, of course it looks bigger to me, but perhaps I am just more aware of it. I do imagine that as the economy worsens, especially for women, that more women see sex work as a viable option. That’s just a guess, however.
What I do know is that in the field of ‘sacred sexuality’, tantra and sensual sexual healing and wholeness – the field is booming! 15 years ago, when I first began my personal exploration, there were a few people around in this field, but one had to look for them. Now, new people, especially but not only, women, are seeking trainings, classes, and mentoring to help them get started. Most commonly, a woman will notice that she has an openness about sexuality, an extra measure of comfort with it, will notice that it can be a healing or personal development mode, and simple want to offer it to others. If she has experience in massage or counseling or some other client-based experience, it can be simply adding sexuality to what she already has. This was the case for me, and the transition was gradual.
If she has no previous hands-on or professional experience, it’s an extra challenge. Skills of sexual play are different than the skills of creating sessions, assessing your new client’s level of awareness and need, or running a business.
Either way, the inclusion of sexuality or direct sexual contact brings a level of complexity that can be challenging indeed - Learning what desire is whose, which limits work for you, what you give and what you don’t.
I believe this is actually the greatest need among new (and seasoned) sex workers. Especially ‘sacred’ sex workers, or holistically or tantra oriented work, which tends to be focused on a ‘deeper’ connection with the client – a deeper connection inviting even more complexity and potential confusion.
Now we have arrived at my own personal soap-box. (American expression for preaching what I think everyone should know)
J__ <@> wrote:
Or are we just more open about it? Either way, is the idea of sex work becoming more acceptable – even fashionable? Can sex work be successfully reframed in terms of a more holistic sexual health model?
Any thoughts on the way that sex work is perceived and what changes, if any, you have observed in recent years would be most welcome (positive and/or negative of course).
I answered:
I do also think that in spite of the conservative element, society at large is more open about sex in general, and thus sex work. Occasional movies portray a glamour to it and yes, among some groups, sex work has become fashionable.
Reframed in a more holistic model? Absolutely!
I think a major factor here is the kind of training I mentioned. The state of California now sanctions a training called ‘Sexological Bodywork’ in which genital touch in included, but all touch is still one direction only. The provider stays clothed. Still, it is a very significant step, the first of its kind that I know of.
Other professionals offer trainings along this line (including myself), which of course vary in focus.
A note here about ‘holistic’. I want to confirm that I do not deem holistic or ‘sacred’ or healing oriented sex work as more valuable or virtuous than traditional sex work. Both are needed! Both sex workers and clients find the match that works for them, and thank goddess there is something for everyone.
J__ <@> wrote:
I would also just like to ask, before we sign off, are there any other points or questions you think are important that I haven’t covered at all?
And if there was one point you could get over in terms of how sex work is understood by the public, and in academia too, what would that be?
I answered:
My one point would be this. Well, two points that are related.
Like accountants and school teachers, sex workers choose their profession for a variety of reasons, some simple, some complex. And like accountants and school teachers, the majority of sex workers choose it for a combination of money and a natural interest, talent, or calling. Due to the social stigma, this can take considerable courage and commitment. I wonder how many fewer accountants we would have if accounting were stigmatized, and how many better teachers we would have if they were paid their worth.
The second is that there is absolutely no viable reason to criminalize any activity between consenting adults behind closed doors. It is absurd.
J__ <@> wrote:
That’s about it. And I can’t tell you how much I have appreciated and benefited in terms of your contribution to this research. You’ve been marvelous, and I’m sorry if it has been longer and more time-consuming that you (and I) may have expected. I won’t’ ask anything further now though, I am all out of questions and I have so much to work with already.
I answered:
You’re welcome, and it’s been my pleasure too. I look forward to seeing your conclusions!