Enough
I turned the corner, and there was the water, all rosy glow reflecting the evening sky, cottages lined up and twinkling along the far shore. And this thought flashed through my body – You have done enough.
Huh?! I have? A sudden gush of tears. And then this thought immediately followed – You mean there is such a thing? Yes, there is such a thing.
I pulled into the driveway and parked, drinking in the fading sky, the shadows of trees, the sound of the waves, birds. I have done enough. I am free to just be here now, just be me. Great big tears of relief. Sobs of relief. And then a few more thoughts – What would be different if I actually believed this? If I actually lived on this belief? Can I do that?
And the knowing voice again – And that includes figuring it out. You have done enough figuring out.
That was last night. This morning I notice that I am writing before opening my email, which will be full of tasks. I turn on my laptop, open a new page, and allow the thoughts to come out my fingers onto the keyboard. ‘Choosing is, perhaps, the most spiritual act.’
So be it.